The first steps after leaving
Leaving is only the beginning. This resource covers the disorientation, grief, and unexpected emotions that often follow, and why they're a normal part of the process.
Leaving a high-control group is often described as one of the most disorienting experiences a person can go through. Even when leaving was your choice, even when you knew it was the right thing to do, the aftermath can feel nothing like freedom. It can feel like falling.
This is normal. And it's important to say that clearly, because many survivors feel ashamed of how hard it is. They expect to feel relief, and instead they feel grief. They expect clarity, and instead they feel confusion. They expect to be glad, and instead they find themselves missing the community, the certainty, and even the structure that the group provided.
What you're experiencing is a form of grief — and it's a grief that the people around you may not understand. You may have lost your community, your sense of purpose, your understanding of the world, and your identity all at once. That is an enormous loss, and it deserves to be treated as one.